Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Fannie and Freddie Busking Bit

Square Dance Intro 1:
Now that the housing bubble has burst
Those who had money now are cursed.
Like Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac
Who came crashing down flat on their back.

OR Intro 2:
The housing bubble has gone all black
Those on high fell flat on their back.
Like Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac
Begging for change on the subway track.

As square dance prelude song ends, The sound of Subway doors closing as Fannie and Freddie meet on the platform.

FMae: Heya Freddie! How's it going? How much money did you make on the trains today?

FMac: Oh Frannie, I'm strugglin'. I made five measly dollars, and that's only 'cause a CPA from the SEC recognized me as a GSE POW and felt sorry for me. I tried to charm the rest of 'em, but nothin' doin' - most of 'em won't even look at me...

Mae: Now you listen here Freddie. You're very likable, but honesty goes a long way. I just tell 'em that the whole reason I was around in the first place was to give the poor a fighting chance and to put a roof overhead for those that might not otherwise have one. And now that the tables are turned I, too,  must 'depend on the kindness of strangers.' And then I croon a little and make 'em swoon a little and the dollars start droppin' in my hat.

Mac: Ooh, Fannie, I think you're on the right track...no pun intended.

Mae: Dang right! But there's more potential out there. Freddie I think we need to combine our strengths!

Mac: Yes! With my charm and your sincerity we're sure to rake it in!

Mae: Ooh, I've got an idea! Listen to this: "(clears throat) Excuse me ladies and gentlemen, we're sorry to bother you...

We're GSEs and we're down on our luck
We've gone MIA
On the MTA
Busking all day for a lousy sawbuck
(Freddie joins in) We're FHLMC
And FNMA
Making our way through the mud and muck
But look out CBS and ABC and CNN and NBC
And you too, FOXNews
Cause she's Fannie Mae and he's Freddie Mac
And we're going to make a comeback...! (beat.)

Mac: So...A/C/E?

Mae: Nah...N/R/Q.

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